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And boy oh boy are there a lot of different types of external vibes. "Whether you’re thrusting into someone else, into your own hand, or just wearing it around, you don’t want the dildo to be wiggling around," she explains. A prostate massager is a vibrating toy that goes up the anus to stimulate the prostate. "This can be thought of as the male equivalent to G-spot stimulators," Fleming says.

I like unique toys that work well with solo or partner play for added diversity, as well. Another benefit of toys that allow you to let go, literally and emotionally, is they can enhance partner gay sex toys without causing you to disconnect from the person you’re with. The entire thing vibrates, so you can use it flat as an external vibrator by yourself or with a partner, bend it for whatever angle you need, or bend it completely in half and use it as a dual stimulation toy.